I refused to believe that colic was indeed what we were dealing with for quite some time. (I think denial will come in handy throughout motherhood :)) First we thought it was reflux so she was put on Prevacid. That did help with spit-ups, especially the powerful "shoots out the nose" kind, lovely! Obviously that made us, and Sophie, happy. However, that was short lived as the inevitable conclusion of colic reared it's ugly head. Colic is defined as 3 or more hours or inconsolable crying for at least 3 days a week for approx. 3 weeks. Well, let me tell ya, we blew right past those parameters.
We (maybe) had 2 hours at most where she did NOT cry while she was awake, every single day for about 2 1/2 months. There isn't enough Cabernet in the world to get you through something like that. However, you do get all kinds of helpful advice. Such as: put the baby on the dryer-Nope! Scared the crap out of her (literally)!, put the baby near the exhaust fan of your oven-Not effective when she cries louder than the actual fan sound!, run the vacuum-Kind of worked but, realistically, how much can you vacuum?, Drive the baby around-Hmmm, I've been told it's not wise to get behind the wheel of a car when you are drop dead exhausted, run the hair dryer-Yes, I do enjoy blow drying my hair as a miserable little red-faced munchkin sits in front of me and screams. I don't know why more salons don't offer that option with their blowouts.
My favorite, "you just need to get out of the house with that baby, she's probably just bored." Reeeeaaalllly? First off I have done everything except fly from a trapeze suspended over her crib in order to entertain her but, you are right, she's probably crying 12 hours a day out of boredom. And secondly, I know how much I enjoy being out in public with unruly children so, Sure! Let's just subject random strangers to the fun of a colicky baby.
So, needless to say, outings were few and far between. On the plus side, I now know that I can handle house arrest if I ever commit some low-grade crime, and it is super easy to navigate through my house now because I wore paths in the floors from walking and bouncing Sophie for hours on end.
Also, I think my husband and I should seriously consider trying out for The Amazing Race because the level of teamwork that went on in this house would rival any pro-sports team!
Well, at approximately 3 1/2 months of age colic seems to have moved on to party with some other poor, unsuspecting baby. Which, while I'm sorry for that poor family, I'm doing the happy dance. Our gal seems much more content, but she still has some sass, which I'll get into later.
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